How I deal with my Insecurities

Insecurities are things that we all have for various reasons.

If you don’t have at least one, you’re most likely lying to yourself. You could be insecure about an essay you have written, unsure about your future plans, unhappy with your appearance etc.

These things will come and they will also go and I am going to talk you through some of mine and how I am trying to deal with them and hopefully, this will help you all out too.

Most of these insecurities are based on looks and image and that is why there are two blogs posts, one about the outfits and this one about how I feel about myself. There is also a new video on my Youtube channel that I had so much fun making. Make sure you check it out.

Weight

This is something I have been insecure about for years. I used to hate looking at myself in the mirror or even being topless in my own house. It was horrible! The only real way to deal with this one was to try to be healthier and exercise more. On a daily basis, I have to ride my bike pretty much everywhere and I have found out that in the last 3 months, I have lost 4 Stone from exercising and altering my diet slightly. I am where I would like to be with my body yet? No! But Am I proud of myself? You bet I am!

I am not aiming to have the traditional physique of a bodybuilder or a male model, (Even though I’d love to model one day) I am simply just aiming to make myself healthier and happier. I am no longer chasing this false idea of perfection. Yes, Abs & Pecs – and all the other muscle groups that I can’t quite remember – are great but they do not make the man, they do not make you perfect. I am learning to be proud of my imperfections through positive affirmations, having an accountability buddy (Someone you can rely on to help you when you’re feeling low, mine are my parents and my closest set of friends) and just by doing things I love – like taking pictures of myself, buying clothes, dancing etc. – regardless of what others think of me.

Skin

This section is not about me not liking being black cause I’ll tell you now, I am madly in love with the Melanin that God blessed me with.

For as long as I could remember, my skin has never been great with spots as I have eczema which leaves my skin patchy. I have recently found out that this encompasses a bigger skin condition that I have called Atopic Dermatitis. It’s nothing life threatening but it is just not the nicest thing to look at.

To deal with this, I try to keep my skin as moisturised as possible but I also never edit it out of my photos. You may zoom in on photos and see raised skin near my mouth or around my nose. That is the Atopic Dermatitis but I refuse to edit it out because it’s part of me. And I am now learning to live with it. And it doesn’t make me feel as insecure any more.

General Insecurities

I, like most, have plenty more insecurities than that but I try to address them in the same way. Putting God first and realising that in the grand scheme of life me being a bit rounder than my attractive friends or my skin being different to yours doesn’t really matter. We are all created with purpose and these insecurities can sometimes get in the way of us getting to our destiny. I choose everyday to never allow these insecurities to stop me and I hope you will choose to do the same!

Victoryforu

Victorious Everyday

Why Boys need to watch Black Girls Rock!

Tonight, In the UK, Black Girls Rock is on tonight on BET at 9 pm. I am so excited to watch it as I love this event and I think that you should too.

This awards ceremony is called “Black Girls Rock” but this is not limited to girls only. Guys should be watching as well. Why?

Over the last few years, I have been noticing a shift in how Black boys talk about Black girls which is frankly disturbing. Referring to your darker skin girls, sisters and mothers as ‘Ugly’ or Too Hood’ or ‘Man Like’ is a vast contrast to how they refer to lighter skin girls, sisters and mothers as ‘Peng’, ‘Hot’ or ‘Perfect woman.’

I believe that watching Black Girls Rock and the stories of these strong women who are changing the game and who are showing true beauty will help to change these sub-conscious opinions.

Make sure you go and watch it tonight at 9pm: http://www.bet.com/live-tv.html 

Victoryforu

Victorious Everyday

Exam results day blessings!

To all GCSE results receivers, best of luck and best of blessings today. Check out what I wrote last year to inspire, encourage and motivate my friends last year. This pretty much applies to any exam. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: This is based on my personal experience and what I viewed in my schools and schools like mine!

“Just want to say a huge congratulations to all who have received results today and who will receive results. I am proud of you and please continue to strive for the best.

To all those we have tried so hard and who haven’t got the grades they wanted this time, don’t worry. Today has been proof that grades aren’t everything, I know several people who got into their uni or got that job not because of their grades but because of Who They Are.
If you truly tried hard and truly put your all into it, you have not failed. Don’t tell yourself that you have failed your family or failed your friends because you are a few grades away from what they wanted you to get.

If you truly persisted and tried your best, then you need to carry on and keep doing your best.

If you didn’t try and you came out with A’s and B’s, which I know has today and will continue to happen, you really haven’t succeeded because success comes from trying not from riding the wave, success comes from actually getting your hands dirty not from sitting on the sidelines watching others do the work. I know people like this who have breezed through education but who are actually quite stupid. If you are one of those people, now is your time to try and actually become a success.

To all who have tried, to all who Dared to Dream, to all who dream big, I am proud of you!

P.S.
To parents and teachers who feel the need to restrict your children’s potential, Stop It! Don’t complain about young people not making a change when you aren’t giving us room to grow.

Apologies to all who think that our best isn’t good enough when you are living in the past and basing your decision of us and our potential in the comparison of the ones who came before.

FYI, We are not them. We will never be them. So stop with this comparison foolishness and actually show some appreciation for the young people who have worked so hard that will be looking after you one day.

I am tired of hearing young people discouraged by the people who claim to love/care for them.

Encourage us. Build us up. Don’t condemn and curse us to the mediocrity that you still dwell in.

Well done to all of the good parents and teachers who already know this!
And lastly I want to say one last time: Well done young people! Enjoy this night but the Hard work begins soon. Are you ready to change the world? Are you ready to take the plunge? Are you ready to live your dream? ”

Feeling inspired yet? I hope you are!
Victoryforu

Victorious Everyday

Modern Map Art Review

You may – or may not – already know this about me but I love art!

I guess it’s a mixture of my love for style and patterns that makes me love art even more. I completely admire my friends who can draw or paint or design, It’s a talent that I am trying to learn.

After seeing these beautiful maps from Modern Map Art, I had to get my hands on one.

The sheer detail and beauty of cartography is probably the most overlooked art form. We have had maps for centuries to help us find our way but never once have we look at them as the artistic pieces that they really are.

This map did not come with this frame (£5.99 from Wilko) but this is a gift for the minimalist or the fashion conscious. And will make a perfect edition to every living room, office or bedroom!

However, their site is filled to the brim with beautiful wall art & gifts for everyone.

You need to get one and here’s how you do so. Just click HERE

You’ll be taken to the website and then your journey can truly begin.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Victoryforu

Victorious Everyday

Dear Teachers, Your job is to encourage, not destroy!

Hi all,

It’s been a while. Hope you’re well. I’ve been wracking my brain over what to write here but after chatting to a friend, I finally have a topic.

I won’t mention my friend’s name but I will say that he has recently been let down by some teachers.

As the academic year is coming to an end, this must be addressed.

My friend can sing, and pretty well to be honest. He has the ability to make people smile because of his voice. But this blog post isn’t about him (Sorry bud, next time lol) this blog post is addressed to all teachers who discourage children from living out their dreams.

This is gonna sound harsh and – to be completely honest – it’s meant to! This also is not addressed to all teachers too. Most teachers actually know how to do their job but to all teachers who seem to get pleasure from egotistical crushing young people’s dreams – reevaluate your career!

If you are discouraging young people from achieving their dreams, you are not a teacher, you’re just a glorified bully. And I realise that all bullies react in that way because it happened to them too.

If your teachers or parents discouraged your dreams of becoming a singer, a scientist, an engineer, an actor or business mogul, it is actually your responsibility to make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else. But unfortunately, some of you think it’s acceptable to break the spirit of young people.

(Again, this is gonna sound harsh)

Your criticism of young people should be constructive, not destructive. If a child has told you their dream and all you have done is tramped on it, You are not fit to be a teacher. Simple as that.

Hurts doesn’t it? Now let me get constructive – see how simple that was?

I want to reiterate that this blog post is not to bash teachers and tar them all with the same brush. In fact, there are some genuinely remarkable teachers out there.

My encouragement to you is this:

Look at yourself and question why you’re reacting this way to your students.
Apologise to your student, especially if you’ve noticed them shut down because of your discouragement.
Remember that your role as a teacher is to encourage not discourage.
Change how you put things across. Don’t just dismiss young people, actually constructively explain your opinion.
And lastly, it starts with you. If you’ve only ever been fed discouragement, that’s all you will give out. Begin to positively affirm yourself so that you can affirm others.

I have not written this to break anyone down but to challenge you and to push you towards greatness. I realise that you may also be wondering why you ghouls listen to an 18-year-old. The reason I think you should at least consider what I’m saying is because these are the same thoughts you had when you were young when people told you that you wouldn’t make it. I just so happen to have a platform to voice this issue which many students face daily. So please don’t dismiss me because I’m young.

Now to the students or anyone who has been discouraged, I’m going to give you the same advice I gave my friend last night with a few added extras:

If you truly want something, do not give up. Even if teachers tell you you’re not good enough. Use that upset to get better, to take lessons, perfect your craft and just shine. Also, don’t take all that they say to heart and don’t let one person’s opinion of you dictate your future. There is so much more to life than just being ‘academic.’ It’s a small part of a bigger picture. Some people are more or less academic in the same way some people are more or less creative. Work with what God has given you and make sure you put in the work. I can see the potential in you and I know that you were born for greatness. It’s now your decision whether you succeed or not. People will always be there to discourage you but make it your choice to not give up!

God bless you all and I hope this has helped someone today.

Victoryforu

Victorious Everyday

My Encouragement to you in dark times

I hope this speaks to someone who reads this. Someone needs this today. More inspiration will be found on my Instagram.

Good Afternoon all,

Over the last couple of weeks, months and years, I haven’t been able to coherently articulate how I was feeling about our world situation in regard to terror and hate. After spending time in prayer and seeing last night’s One Love Manchester, I am finally able to articulate this.

(Please do bear with me and please do take the time to read this until the end, Thank you)

This world that we are living in seems to be getting darker and darker. But in these times, we need to be the light, we need to still have hope and faith, we need to support and encourage others. We cannot just be bystanders!

Something that has really encouraged me recently is the resilience of us as a people, united as one to combat terror and hate in a peaceful way. The unity showed last night at One Love Manchester (and in other upcoming events) show us all that the terrorist have not won.

Yes, innocent lives have been lost and that is a horrific tragedy that cannot be denied. But the resilience that we have shown collectively has truly been staggering.

We need to continue to show honour and respect for those we have lost. Terrorism affects us all. Whether is has happened on your home soil, in your neighbourhood or in a country 5000 miles away, it affects us all. It sends shockwaves into the atmosphere and is something that is – unfortunately – increasing.

Choosing to react with love instead of hate is one of the most powerful decisions we could make. Choosing to honour, commemorate and celebrate the lives of those lost in these attacks not only shows the terrorists that they haven’t won, it also affirms to us that we will make it through this.

No, this will not lessen the grief felt but, for most, this will be a bit of pain relief for a moment. I pray that you will all find some kind of peace and I pray that God will comfort you. I pray that you will be taken to a place where you can go boldly even when you are scared. I hope that God will give you the courage to make that change and to smile in the face of fear.

Katy Perry may not be my favourite artist, however, both of these songs spoke to me as did many others such as Don’t Look Back in Anger, Where is the Love, Cold Water and Fix You. I feel like a lot of the fire that we all have was put out once we heard about the attacks in Manchester, London, Paris, Syria, Baghdad and the world over. My biggest prayer for you all is that the fire, that light, that hope, joy and compassion will return to your life.

Now before this blog post ends, I just want to reiterate something. The Title. Ain’t No Fear Here, Love Conquers All, God Loves You!

All of these statements, at this point in time, seem hard to get our heads around. I just want to let you all know that God loves each and every one of you no matter your gender, race, religion, orientation, gender identity, lifestyle, your past, flaws or circumstances. He loves you unconditionally.

If you can take anything from this post, take away these simple words, “God Loves Me!”

Thank you for staying to read my thoughts. I hope this blessed someone out there. Keep on reaching for the stars and don’t let go.

More personal posts will be on my Instagram very soon so look out for those.

Sending nothing but Love, Prayers and Respect to the performers last night, Ariana Grande and all families and loved ones affected by any terror attacks around the world!

Victoryforu

Victorious Everyday

How I got through my exams…

It is exam season (I am sorry to remind you again) and I took some time out this week to look back at my time doing exams.

Just like you, I hated it!

Just learning things in a subject that you hate just to get a letter on a piece of paper that can supposedly decide your future… I think not!

But this is not about what I think about exams – that blog post will come in due time – it’s about how I survived.

God

In the time when I felt mentally incapable or just run down, God’s love really kept me going through the hard times!

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

-Philippians 4:13

Family

As you know, My Parents are my best friends, so during my exams, they were my cheerleaders.

They kept me motivated with kind words, food (we’ll talk more about that in the next point) and hugs!

Food

As the funny gif says, Treat Yo Self!

Something that I did was to treat myself after exams with chocolate. This could work for you with the chocolate or sweet of your choice. Or even with a film when you get home… provided that you don’t have a load of revision to do.

Things to be careful of…

Exam times can be high-pressure situations. We often stop treating our body as usual when these times arise either.

Make sure you:

Keep Hydrated – Plenty of water before, during and after exams can help your brain activity.

Don’t skip meals – I know it is super easy to just skip breakfast on the day of your morning exam when you have a clash so you have to stay in the hall for 3.5 hours (The struggle was real… believe me) but try to keep to regular meals. Also, get an accountability buddy. Your best friend will be great for this. Get someone in your life who isn’t going to lie to you and will tell you the truth e.g. “You need to eat something before we go in!”

Don’t focus on others –

You do not need to add anymore added stress after your exam, so if need be, get away from the after-exam discussers because this won’t help your stress levels.

I do not profess to be an educational expert, however, these things are what helped me through my GCSE’s and A Levels and I think I’ve turned out pretty well.

Yes, I have a whole lot further to go career wise but good things take time.

Please try not to stress out so much over this exam period, it does NOT, I repeat does NOT define the rest of your life no matter what your teacher, best friend, parents or study buddy says.

What matters is what you do after. Do you accept defeat or do you get back up and work even harder?

That is the true test for success!

I hope you have enjoyed this.

God bless

Victoryforu

Victorious Everyday